didn't i see you, when you thought you'd never stand out...

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 20:57:36 GMT

i haven't been here in a while.

what is the point of desire? who really cares about intention. these things never make it to light anyway. i wouldn't really mind so much if i actually felt like part of a process, but it's this constant stagnancy that gets to me. what do i do when the facets of my life are so devided and what i really want to do, what i should do, never makes it into any of them?. how does one achieve change. self-realization isn't enough. i can judge myself so objectively that i don't feel any connection to the test subject.

but i am not some disaster. please? that can't be true. it seems so hard to believe in love sometimes.

i think what i really need is for this limbo to end. so many areas of my life are on pause that i think i'm starting to implode. the pressure outside of my skin is beginning to overcome the fire inside.

'and they're gonna come to light tonight. i think, i think that it's me.'

heaven is waiting.

Wed, 26 Nov 2003 17:12:10 GMT

the first entry in a journal is always somewhat intangible, because i'm never really sure if the journal will last, or if it does, if the emotions contained in it will. this journal is to be my thinking place. i will come here and write because i want to and because i need to.

the hall where you had your first kiss.

didn't i see you, when you thought you'd never stand out...

heaven is waiting.